Football team fines, position by position
· 7 min read
Every position commits its own crimes. Here is the list arranged the way a dressing room actually thinks about it, rather than by where it happened.
The short answer
Football team fines usually cover lateness, kit failures, on pitch mistakes and group chat offences, priced from 50p to five pounds. Organising the list by position works well in football because each role has its own recognised crimes, from a keeper who comes for every cross to a striker who never tracks back.
Goalkeepers
Keepers get fined more than anybody because everything they do wrong is visible from the car park.
| Offence | Suggested fine |
|---|---|
| Coming for a cross and missing it entirely | £2 |
| Letting one in at the near post | £2 |
| Being beaten from inside your own half | £5 |
| Throwing it straight to an opponent | £2 |
| Shouting at the back four for your own mistake | £2 |
| Staying on your line for a corner | £1 |
| Taking a goal kick straight out of play | £1 |
| Wearing outfield gloves | £1 |
| Turning up without gloves at all | £2 |
| Claiming a clean sheet in a 4-4 draw | £1 |
Defenders
Defensive fines are the most argued over, because defending is the only job on the pitch where the whole team has an opinion about how you did it.
| Offence | Suggested fine |
|---|---|
| Own goal | £2 |
| Own goal from outside the box | £5 |
| Getting nutmegged | £1 |
| Getting nutmegged by someone over forty | £3 |
| Playing the whole line offside on your own | £2 |
| Dribbling out of your own box and losing it | £2 |
| Shouting man on when there is nobody there | £1 |
| Going up for a corner and getting caught out | £1 |
| Appealing for offside instead of running back | £2 |
| Clearing it into the car park | £1 |
Midfielders
Midfield fines are mostly about effort and ambition, usually an excess of the second and a shortage of the first.
| Offence | Suggested fine |
|---|---|
| Shooting from inside your own half | £1 |
| Attempting a rabona | £2 |
| Attempting a rabona successfully and never shutting up about it | £3 |
| Giving the ball away with your first touch of the game | £1 |
| Not tracking a runner, then blaming the defence | £2 |
| Taking a free kick that does not clear the wall | £1 |
| Calling for the ball in an offside position | 50p |
| Signalling for a switch nobody can see | 50p |
| Walking back after losing possession | £2 |
| Doing fifty stepovers and then passing backwards | £1 |
Forwards
Strikers are fined for two things: what they miss, and how they behave about what they miss.
| Offence | Suggested fine |
|---|---|
| Missed penalty | £2 |
| Penalty missed off the frame entirely | £3 |
| Missing an open goal | £3 |
| Claiming an assist you did not make | £1 |
| Celebrating a goal you did not score | £1 |
| Celebrating in front of your own supporters after an own goal | £2 |
| Refusing to track back at all | £2 |
| Demanding the armband for scoring once | £1 |
| Asking the referee for the match ball after a hat trick | £2 |
| Scoring and pointing at your own name on your shirt | £2 |
Everybody, every week
These are the ones that pay for the Christmas do, because they happen to somebody every single week.
| Offence | Suggested fine |
|---|---|
| Late for the meet time | £1 |
| Late for kick off | £3 |
| No show with no message | £5 |
| Pulling out on match day morning | £5 |
| Wrong colour socks | £1 |
| Forgot your shin pads | £2 |
| Boots not cleaned from last week | £1 |
| Not replying to the availability message | £1 |
| Leaving the group chat | £5 |
| Blaming the pitch | 50p |
The unwritten rules of a Sunday league fines system
- The manager goes on the list. A manager who cannot be fined for picking himself has lost the room already.
- Nobody is fined for a genuine injury, ever. That is the one line that does not get crossed.
- A fine for a mistake is fine. A fine for being bad at football is not, and the difference matters.
- The ref is not a crime. Dissent is a crime. Keep those separate or every decision becomes a fine.
- Whatever the money is for, spend it on the whole squad, including the ones who paid least.
Who keeps track
In most clubs it is one person with a notes app and a grudge, right up until they stop coming. Fine Club is the version that does not depend on them: your own rulebook, two taps to fine someone, and a pot and a leaderboard the whole squad can see. Free on iOS and Android.
Common questions
What are the most common football team fines?
Lateness, missing training without telling anyone, own goals, missed penalties, wrong kit and group chat offences. Lateness alone usually accounts for the largest share of a season's kitty because it happens to somebody almost every week.
How much should football fines be?
A pound for routine offences, two to three pounds for the ones that annoy people, and five pounds for a match day no show. Keep everything in 50p steps so the total is easy to work out.
Should you fine players for missing a penalty?
Most clubs do, at around two pounds, on the understanding that it is for the miss and not for being a bad player. The line worth holding is that mistakes are fineable and ability is not.
Do professional football clubs have fines systems?
Yes, and the structure is much the same, with lateness and kit breaches as the staples. The difference is the scale of the figures and the fact that at the professional level fines are usually set out in the player's contract rather than agreed over a pint.
Run your fines in the app, not a notes app
Fine Club keeps your rulebook, the pot and the leaderboard in one place, so nobody has to chase a pound by hand. Free on iOS and Android.