Every stag do has the same two problems. Nobody is ready on time, and by Sunday one person has paid for everything. A fines list fixes the first and the kitty fixes the second, and they are the same system.
The short answer
Stag do fines are a short list of agreed rules with a price against each one, issued across the weekend and paid into the group kitty. Typical fines cover being late to a meeting point, dodging a round, mentioning work, phoning home for too long and letting the groom pay for anything. Prices usually run from one pound to twenty, with forfeits offered instead of cash so nobody is priced out. The rules must be agreed in the group chat before anyone travels.
Set it up before anybody travels
A fines list invented in a bar on the Friday night is a fines list that gets argued about all weekend. Put it in the group chat a fortnight before, let people add to it, and get the groom to agree to his own section. Ten minutes of admin buys you two days of not nagging anybody.
The best man issues the fines. One person, not a committee. Everybody can nominate and the group can shout, but one person decides, or the first disputed fine becomes a forty minute discussion outside a pub.
Travel and timekeeping fines
These are the ones that genuinely change behaviour, because the whole weekend is a sequence of meeting points.
| Offence | Suggested fine |
|---|---|
| Late to any meeting point | £5 |
| More than fifteen minutes late | £10 |
| Making the group miss a train, coach or booking | £20 |
| Missing the flight entirely | £50 |
| Not knowing where you are supposed to be | £2 |
| Asking what the plan is after the itinerary was sent | £2 |
| Asking what the plan is for the third time | £5 |
| Forgetting your passport, found at the door | £10 |
| Losing your room key | £5 |
| Losing your room key twice | £10 |
| Falling asleep anywhere that is not a bed | £5 |
| Going to bed before midnight on the Saturday | £10 |
| Being the first one up and waking everybody | £2 |
Money and rounds fines
This section is why the kitty survives the weekend. The two offences that cause actual resentment on a stag do are both financial, and both are on this list.
| Offence | Suggested fine |
|---|---|
| Not having your kitty contribution on you | £10 |
| Dodging your round | £10 |
| Dodging your round twice | £20 |
| Buying a round and missing somebody out | £2 |
| Paying for a round out of the kitty and calling it yours | £10 |
| Letting the groom pay for anything | £5 |
| Letting the groom pay for a whole round | £10 |
| Saying you will get the next one and leaving | £10 |
| Any card declined at the bar | £2 |
| Going to a cash machine and coming back with nothing | £5 |
Group chat and general conduct fines
| Offence | Suggested fine |
|---|---|
| Mentioning work | £2 |
| Mentioning work twice | £5 |
| On the phone home for more than ten minutes | £2 |
| Taking a work call | £10 |
| Getting the groom's fiancée's name wrong | £5 |
| Calling the groom by his surname all weekend | £1 |
| Any photo posted to the group chat that is unusable | £1 |
| Posting to the group chat from inside the same room | £1 |
| Leaving the group chat | £10 |
| Shirt off indoors | £2 |
| Crying | £2 |
| A speech nobody asked for | £2 |
| A speech nobody asked for that goes past two minutes | £5 |
| Saying you are leaving early | £5 |
| Actually leaving early | £20 |
| Being sick first | £10 |
| Blaming the food | £2 |
The groom's own rules
The groom should have the longest list and pay the least, because he pays for nothing all weekend. That is the joke: he racks up a fortune in fines and everybody else covers it.
| Offence | Suggested fine |
|---|---|
| Refusing a dare | £10 |
| Swapping a dare, allowed once | £5 |
| Taking the costume off before midnight | £10 |
| Mentioning the wedding | £2 |
| Mentioning the seating plan | £5 |
| Mentioning the budget | £5 |
| Telling anybody he is getting married, unprompted | £1 |
| Trying to pay for something | £5 |
| Being the first to bed | £20 |
Forfeits instead of money
Not everybody on a stag do has the same money, and a fines list that only takes cash quietly becomes a list that only applies to the people who can afford it. Offer a forfeit as an alternative on every fine and the problem disappears.
A good forfeit costs nothing, takes two minutes and is over. A bad forfeit involves a stranger, a tattoo or anything anyone will still be dealing with on Monday.
- Wear the costume for the next hour.
- Next round is yours, and you take the orders without writing them down.
- No phone until the next venue.
- Sit out of the next game and keep score.
- Carry the kitty bag until further notice.
- You are the designated photographer for the next hour.
- Hold the group's drinks order in your head and get it right.
- The group picks what you drink next, within reason and within the law.
- Swap your shirt with whoever is wearing the worst one.
How to run the kitty so nobody ends up out of pocket
- Everybody puts the same amount in before the first drink, not when the first bill arrives.
- One person holds the kitty and one person holds the receipts. Not the same person, and neither of them is the groom.
- The kitty pays for shared things only. Group taxis, group rounds, activities, the table. Not somebody's dinner.
- Fines go in the kitty. That is the whole trick: the system that keeps people on time also pays for the taxis.
- Read out the total once a day, out loud. A kitty nobody can see is a kitty somebody gets accused over.
- Whatever is left on the Sunday gets split, or goes behind the bar. Agree which one in advance.
The one rule not to include
Do not fine anybody for not drinking. It is the single most common mistake on a stag do fines list and it is the one that turns a weekend into a thing somebody remembers badly for years.
Someone on that trip is driving, or on medication, or in recovery, or simply does not want to, and none of them owe the group an explanation. The same goes for fining people for going to bed when they are genuinely done in rather than being first to bed as a joke. A fines list is for daftness people chose. Everything else is just a group of mates charging one person for being themselves.
Keeping track when everybody has had a few
By Saturday night nobody can remember who owes what, and the notes app has three conflicting versions. Fine Club keeps the rules, the running total and who owes what in one place that the whole group can see, so Sunday morning is a number rather than an argument. Free on iOS and Android, and it works just as well for a stag weekend as a football season.
Common questions
What are good stag do fines?
Being late to a meeting point, dodging a round, mentioning work, phoning home for too long, losing your room key, and letting the groom pay for anything. Price timekeeping and money offences at five to twenty pounds and everything else at one to five.
How much should a stag do fine be?
One to five pounds for conduct, five to twenty for timekeeping and money. Anything that costs the whole group, such as making everybody miss a train, should be twenty or more, because it genuinely costs people money.
Who issues the fines on a stag do?
The best man, alone. Anybody can nominate and the group can argue, but one person decides, or every fine becomes a debate. The best man should also be fineable by the group, or it gets dull fast.
Should the groom pay fines on his own stag do?
He should collect the most and pay none of them. He pays for nothing all weekend, so his fines are a running total that everybody else quietly covers, which is the joke.
What should you not fine on a stag do?
Never fine anybody for not drinking. Someone in the group may be driving, on medication, in recovery or simply not drinking, and none of them owe the group a reason. Fine choices, not people.
What do stag do fines pay for?
The group kitty, which covers shared taxis, rounds, activities and the table. Collecting fines into the kitty is what makes the system worth running rather than just a way of telling people off.
Run your fines in the app, not a notes app
Fine Club keeps your rulebook, the pot and the leaderboard in one place, so nobody has to chase a pound by hand. Free on iOS and Android.